Perseus Jackson and the suspiciously efficient power supply
by MadScientist14159
Summary: Perseus was not the idiot the Percy of another world was. He was a scientist. He was clever enough to realise just how nonsensical his world is, no matter who called it "awesome". The gods and the demigods may have no common sense (with the possible exception of Athena and her children), but Perseus does. Intelligent!Percy Scientist!Percy (Based on THAT fic by lesswrong)


Perseus tried to sit up in bed. A hand forced him back down. A girl with grey eyes and blonde hair was feeding him... something. It tasted nice. 'Could be poison.' said a voice in his head, 'You can't expect all poisons to taste unpleasant.' He mentally rolled his eyes. 'This looks like a hospital.' he countered, 'They are hardly going to save someone and drag him to a hospital only to poison him. Whoever they are. Besides, she looks about our age. Hardly an assassin.'

Paranoia gave a shrug. 'WE could be an assassin. WE could kill someone without getting implicated in any way at all.' 'But WE would make it look like drug abuse so the authorities wouldn't class it as a murder.' Perseus argued. The girl took out a note pad and wrote something down, before nodding and getting up. Perseus waited until she had got out of reach before trying to sit up again. His muscles were too numb. 'A sedative!' gloated Paranoia, 'So she WAS poisoning us.' 'Or it COULD be that we are exhausted from fighting that minotaur and our body is on the verge of sleep.' said Perseus. 'I have to agree,' said Bartemaius, 'once again, you are jumping to conclusions, Paranoia. Besides, even if it WAS a sedative she gave us, that IS fairly standard practice for patients who need rest. Maybe because they have overexerted themselves. By fighting a MINOTAUR, for instance. ' Perseus closed his eyes and thought back on the fight.

* * *

As the lightning crackled overhead, Perseus fought his natural instinct to get out of the car and run. That would be a death sentence. This car was a nice, safe Faraday cage. And then the roof was torn off and suddenly it was no longer a Faraday cage, but the tallest conductor for nearly fifty meters and therefore a death trap. Oh. Except that man/bull hybrid. That was taller.

Perseus and his mom got out of the car quickly and ran in opposite directions away from the animal. 'Okay.' he thought, 'Mans body, bulls head. I think it would be pretty safe to start calling this thing a minotaur.' There was a mental vote, and none of his imaginary personalities objected. Not even Paranoia, though he suggested that it COULD be a hoax/hallucination/dream/hypnoticillusion/alien/government experiment/non-government experiment or something even wierder. Actually, wait. Dream sounded pretty convincing. Perseus counted the number of fingers on his hand. Five. He closed his mouth and held his nose. He couldn't breathe. He jumped into the air. Gravity still worked. Okay, that was three failed dream tests. He was awake. Probably. Now, what to do with the minotaur that had ignored his mother and was hurtling right at him? 'Give it tunnel vision then sidestep.' he decided. It was how matadors dealt with bulls. But, it had human legs. So it was manouverable. Drat. And it was faster than him. Okay, escape was out. And so was defence, it looked a lot stronger than him. Which left attack. But how do you kill a man/bull hybrid? 'Oh. Right.' he thought, 'MAN. BULL.'

He span around just as the minotaur was almost on top of him, and kicked its testicles as hard as he could. The minotaur dropped to its knees and howled in pain. Not wanting to lose his advantage, Perseus punched it hard in the solar plexus, then dug his fingernails into the place where the jugular should have been if its neck was enough like a humans. He squeezed hard, ignoring the minotaurs thrashings, and was rewarded with a trickle of red running into his hand. The beast stopped striking Perseus and was still. Perseus laughed weakly and coughed up a little blood. 'Organ damage. Damn.' The beast disintergrated into a fine golden mist, leaving Perseus struggling in the grass. A little way away, he saw another golden mist, but thought nothing of it. He reached for his mobile, and typed in 9-1-... before the darkness took him.

* * *

The next time he woke up the girl wasn't there. His latin teacher, on the other hand... "Sir?" he croaked. His throat was dry and painful. The man wheeled his chair closer to the bed and held a cup out. "Here, drink this, Perseus. You've had a rough time." Perseus sniffed the liquid. It had an identicle smell to the food the girl gave him. "Sedative?" he asked. The teacher chuckled and shook his head. "Drink up, you'll need it." 'Mister Brunner could be lying.' insisted Paranoia, 'Last time we consumed something with this taste we were out within a few minutes.' He ignored the voice of his paranoia and drank deeply. He did feel better, he had to admit. His sore throat was gone, at least. "Where am I mister-" he started, but he was cut off. "Chiron. My name was never mister Brunner, Perseus. Call me Chiron." Then he fiddled with his wheelchair and it folded to nothing, revealing a distinctly equine body. 'ERROR! ERROR! SYSTEM OVERLOAD!' warned Admin. Chiron? His latin teacher for the last year had been CHIRON? The centaur son of Chronos, teacher to the heroes? No. Freaking. Way. Before, he never would have considered it to be true. But taking into account that he had just seen what pretty much matched the definition of a minotaur, and mister Brunner was now undisputedly a CENTAUR, he was A LOT more willing to accept the idea. Then the implications caught up with him.

GREEK

MYTHOLOGY

WAS

REAL!

He started hyperventillating and his eyes widened to the point that they were bulging out of their sockets. Only the thought that it COULD have been the gods of warhammer kept him from screaming. Gaia. Uranus. Chronos. Typhon. Echidna. The gigantes. The chimera. The hydra. The cyclopes. The dragons. Scylla and Charybdis. The kindly ones. The nemean lion. And a thousand other threats were REAL. And if the existance of the minotaur despite its death at the hands of Theseus were anything to go by, IMMORTAL. "Ta pedia tis timoria." he swore. For 'Ta pedia tis timoria' was the closest he could get to 'Hell' without resorting to imaginary horrors. Ta pedia tis timoria, he hadn't been able to swear on REAL horrors before. That thought shook him. "Indeed." said Chiron, grimmacing, "Rest assured that only the MOST evil are condemned to there." Perseus swallowed. And looked at Chiron for a full minute before saying "Actually, could I have a sedative?"


End file.
